


How NOT to set up your friends on a date

by notidio (ItWasIDio)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 12-year-old is used as a slur, Humor, M/M, Tea, a lot of the canon timeline is... treated liberally, but then i was 10k words in and realized i screwed up, hi welcome to trope city, this was just supposed to be short and cute, toph being a human lie detector is fully taken advantage of in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItWasIDio/pseuds/notidio
Summary: In which Zuko accidentally flirts by calling Sokka ugly, chaos ensuing
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 539





	1. Zuko deserves to be left alone to make tea with his uncle

**Author's Note:**

> was this a mistake? probably. anyway welcome to the avatar renaissance here is my humble offering

The door to their new tea shop chimed open, and in walked a young boy with his friend. Zuko looked up from where he was taking an old lady’s order, preparing to offer the two a seat at a nearby table until he could get to them when something stopped him. He watched them for a moment, the boy gazing around the shop with his bright blue eyes and casually talking to his younger friend, and then it hit him. 

“Uh, we’ll have your tea ready in a moment,” he told the old lady before bolting behind the counter, dragging his uncle to the back of the tea shop before those two newcomers could spot anything unusual. Uncle looked surprised, but he was smart enough to not open his mouth until they were behind closed doors again.

After making it to the back, Zuko peered out a small window to where the new customers sat, still casually conversing between themselves. Good, so they probably weren’t suspicious yet. Uncle cleared his throat, drawing the boy’s attention. “Something the matter, nephew?”

Zuko merely gestured at the two seated together, and it didn’t take long for Uncle to notice them and understand. “Oh, I’d hate to lose the tea shop so soon if they said something…,” he mumbled, a sad yet loving look in his eyes as he glanced around the kitchen. Zuko wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he didn’t want to let go of this new life either. He _liked_ this life, and it was the first of many he could say that about. 

“Maybe… they’d listen if you talked to them, explained it before they jump to conclusions,” Zuko suggested. He started to prepare that old lady’s tea, less for her, and more to give himself something to do. While it wasn’t surprising that the Avatar’s friends would show up in Ba Sing Se eventually, did they really have to come _here_? This was the price of his uncle’s good tea, it would seem.

Uncle still seemed to be mulling over Zuko’s suggestion by the time the tea began to boil. With practiced ease, Uncle took over on pouring the tea, sweetening it, and made for the door to bring it out before freezing. “I’ll… try to talk to them. I made friends with the little blind girl a while back, you know? You should stay hidden, though, nephew.”

“Thank you, Uncle.”

Zuko watched from the kitchen as his uncle gave the old lady her tea, sweetening it up with his natural charm and flirtation with the customers. She flushed bright red before sliding him a decent tip, and he winked at her as she took to the honeyed tea with joy. He would never understand how his uncle managed that, just going up to people and… talking. His uncle hardly ever fumbled his words or said something he didn’t mean. Zuko was, in all honesty, envious that he never had those people skills.

After buttering up that customer- who was definitely coming back here later, Zuko knew that much-, Uncle turned to the Avatar’s friends. He approached them casually, and Zuko noted that he shifted his voice a little lower before speaking, perhaps to try and remain anonymous for just a moment longer. The boy with the little ponytail didn’t seem suspicious at all, instead just going through and asking about every tea flavor they had. Did he even drink tea, like, ever? Zuko thought everyone knew what green tea tasted like, what the hell? Maybe that was this kid’s plot? He was going to expose them by researching how their tea descriptions were?

Okay, maybe not. Maybe the boy just really didn’t drink tea. Zuko felt a little flattered that someone who never drank tea would decide to try theirs, and he had to fight down a sudden blush at the idea. Either that or the blind girl just made him go with her to read the menu to her, which seemed more likely.

Speaking of her, though… Zuko had seen the way she stiffened when Uncle first spoke. She probably recognized him instantly, Uncle was a hard man to forget, but she wasn’t doing anything about it yet. Maybe she wanted to drink her tea before turning them in, then. Or maybe she’d decide whether or not to depending on how much she liked the tea? Zuko resolved to put his heart and soul into hers- and the boy’s, because his first tea should be a good one.

Uncle gave them a warm smile as he went back to the kitchen, assuring them “It’ll be out in a moment,” before slipping inside with a sigh. “I don’t think the boy knows, yet, but the girl probably does,” Zuko told him, his eyes still trained on them as his uncle started heating the water and measuring the ingredients.

“I know,” Uncle said. “Though… I don’t think she will say anything. She asked why I had opened this shop, while keeping who I was a secret, and when I said, ‘For the start of a new life,’ she knew I was telling the truth. I’m sure of it.” 

“Maybe she did, but what about me? They’d never believe I’m not a threat, and she has to know that I’d be here with you, right? What if… what if they become regulars here, and I just have to hide out in this kitchen for the rest of my life!? You can’t handle that many customers alone!” Zuko threw his arms out to emphasize his point, barely missing a stray teacup. Rather than seriously answer him, Uncle started to laugh. Zuko turned as red as the Fire Nation flag at his uncle’s response, moving away to get the boiling tea to avoid the man’s gaze.

A hand reached out to grab his shoulder as Zuko poured the tea, and his uncle finally stopped laughing as he spoke. “Zuko, my nephew, that gives me an idea. Go out there and give them the tea yourself. And, if they recognize you and start to question or threaten you, there’s one thing you need to do.”

“Run away and start another new life out in the countryside?”

“Yes, of cour- Wait! What? No, no, no. I need you to tell them the _truth_ , okay? Maybe not the whole truth since, well, the public can’t know about some things. But, enough for them to understand. The shop is empty except them right now. It is the perfect time to cement your new life.” Uncle gave him one last shoulder pat before handing off the tea, two steaming cups side by side with a stack of their best biscuits beside them. Zuko could not put into words just how terrible an idea he thought this was, but it was a problem he’d need to address eventually. Better to control what situation brings it about, then. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself, Zuko left the safety of the kitchen and marched to the table.

At first, they didn’t notice him, and Zuko was able to catch the tail-end of their conversation. Apparently, the boy- what was his name again? Sock?- had been practicing his poetry. The girl clapped more every time he cracked a joke or made a comment about sex in the haikus he was saying, and she was just getting ready to try her own when Zuko finally made it to them.

“Uh, here’s your tea,” he mumbled, setting down the tray and trying to ignore the heat rising to his face. He turned away from the boy, not wanting him to see the left half of his face for several reasons. Zuko felt someone grab his wrist and could barely keep from jumping. “Is there a… problem… with it?” He cringed at the squeak in his voice, not looking forward to his last moments being this embarrassing.

“I was just wondering if I could get a slice of lemon with mine,” the girl responded, dropping his wrist quickly. “Sokka, you want anything else?” Oh, right. That was his name. What was the girl’s name, Zuko wondered.

Sokka was still scrutinizing their menu, even after getting his tea. Maybe he was having trouble reading it? Zuko didn’t really know how the water tribe wrote and everything. “Uh, yeah, what’s a-” Sokka started, glaring down at the words with confusion before simply pointing to the item. “Lem- Lemoi- uh…”

With a tired sigh, Zuko carefully moved back until the menu was in sight, still mostly turned away from Sokka. He tried his uncle’s trick of deepening his voice before talking, but they probably hadn’t heard him do anything but scream at them before now. “That’s our Turtle Duck-Style Lemon Bars. They, uh, go well with most herbal and green teas, like the one you have.”

“Do they taste good, though? Like, am I gonna taste it and be in awe, or am I gonna be like aw?” Zuko accidentally let out a snort at the dumb pun, and his right ear burned red at the slip. It wasn’t even that funny, but something about the situation just seemed hilarious at the moment. He tried to cover it with a cough, but Sokka was already beaming at the indirect approval. 

“Uh, I really like them,” Zuko admitted after regaining his composure. Well, kind of regaining it. He was still a blubbering mess at the moment, but now wasn’t the time for that. “They don’t actually use turtle ducks, by the way, but we make them like…” He gestured vaguely, all too aware of Sokka’s eyes on him at the moment. “Like… they look like turtle ducks, kind of. I, um, do the frosting and stuff for it.” He decided to look at the girl, feeling much more comfortable with someone who couldn’t see him fumble directly. 

He heard Sokka slam down the menu before ordering “Two finely-frosted turtle ducks, please!” Zuko took the menu from him and walked in a completely calm and reasonable manner back to the kitchen, only running and ducking as much as any reasonable person would. 

Inside the kitchen, Uncle was wearing a huge grin, already prepping the lemon slice and bars. “Good job out there, nephew. Pretending to be too nervous to look at them so they wouldn’t see the scar? Genius!” 

“What? Oh, uh, yeah. That’s exactly what I was doing,” Zuko confirmed, taking the lemon bars from his uncle to frost. The little turtle duck frosted bars had been his uncle’s idea to add to the menu, but they were always for Zuko. When he was younger, he used to make desserts with his mom, and these were his favorite. That stopped when he was, like, eight, though, replaced with training and fighting to help toughen him up. It was nice to do it now, though- associating that peaceful time with his new life. It made him feel like he could really live this life, like he could really be happy.

He finished off with two little eyes on each bar, admiring his work for a moment. Zuko’s list of talents was short, but he was proud to say frosting decoration was probably somewhere on there. Now for the hard part, he thought, glaring down the door like his gaze could make their two newest customers just disappear. The lemon bars were some of their pricier items, though, and Zuko usually got a nice tip for the craftsmanship. That seemed worth risking his life for, all things considered.

“Good luck,” Uncle whispered, ushering him along. Zuko focused on calming his breathing as he carefully approached the table, setting down the lemon bars and lemon slices silently. Sokka made a little cooing sound at the sight of the bars, and Zuko was yet again turning red before the boy. He turned away before the two thanked him, casting back an awkward thumbs-up to avoid looking at them. Then, something terrible happened. The door opened.

His reaction felt like instinct at this point as Zuko turned to the door and smiled at their next customers, gesturing to a table. It was a young couple who thanked him before sitting, and all seemed well until a sharp gasp came from his side. Right. Shit. Zuko considered whether it’d be safer to run out the door or to the kitchen, settling on the door. At least that way, Uncle would be fine. Not that Uncle needed protection or anything, but Zuko didn’t want to ruin his teashop.

He prepared to bolt when someone grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. Zuko found himself face to face with Sokka, the boy staring him down with a mixture of fear and confusion. They both probably looked pretty terrified right now, actually. The girl was still sipping her tea, but Zuko was almost positive she knew exactly what was happening and why. Couldn’t he have at least waited to screw up until _after_ his tip?

“You’re-” Sokka started, and Zuko knew he needed to shut up the boy right now. He could gag him? No, wait, that’d be suspicious, plus with what? Kick him, maybe. Grab his mouth? Direct but effective. Maybe he could… kiss him? What, wait, no. What was this, some shoddy romance novel? Zuko’s mind wouldn’t move on from that stray thought as he stared down Sokka, his face red and thoughts now too distracted to focus on what was really important.

Luckily, he didn’t have to. After the flash from panic to embarrassment, leaving Zuko too flustered to even think about shutting the other boy up, someone else came to his rescue. Cutting off Sokka, the little girl with him held up one of the lemon bars and loudly exclaimed, “Wow, you were right, Sokka! These are cute! Only someone trustworthy and cool could make something like this!”

Okay, really on the nose, but Zuko was not about to complain. Sokka was, though, turning to her at the interruption with furrowed brows more from confusion than anger now. “Toph, do you even know who this is?” Oh, that was her name.

Toph smiled up at Sokka, still holding that lemon bar. Zuko realized he smudged up the beak a little, but he hoped it still tasted alright. Wait, no, not the time for that. She answered Sokka. “ _Of course_ I know! He’s the boy who gave us our tea. Now I’m sure he wants to get back to work and _not_ bother us.” Her voice in the last sentence left no room for argument, and it seemed Sokka wasn’t going to challenge that.

He sat back down with trepidation, still not letting Zuko out of his sight. Then, with a weighted sigh, he spoke to Toph. “Maybe you’re right. Still, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sitting down for a bit and telling us what he’s been up to. There aren’t too many people here.” Sokka was glaring down Zuko, beckoning him to accept the challenge. There wasn’t much of a choice, really.

“I will as soon as I wait that couple’s table, then you can ask me as much as you want. Just… not anything I can’t answer here, please,” Zuko relented, and though Sokka’s glare didn’t let up, he stayed silent as Zuko slipped away to the other customers. He looked over to the kitchen and spotted Uncle giving him a thumbs-up from behind the window. Looks like he handled it alright, then.

The couple just wanted two jasmine teas, and once Zuko passed that along to his uncle, he assured the boy that he could make them himself. “Go and _talk_ to them, nephew. They are good people, they might understand more than you think. Plus, your jasmine tea is… in need of improvement.” Zuko took offense to that last part, expressing as much in a snappy comment, but he didn’t argue with the rest. Looking over to the two people he had previously tried to imprison and kill, he realized he wanted them to like him. Did he deserve them liking him? Probably not. But, like Uncle said, they might just listen.

He walked over to them and was caught with the brief dilemma of where to sit. Should he even sit down? Sokka said he would be, but maybe that was just part of the phrase and not literal. Maybe he shouldn’t even talk to them, just jump straight to running. He considered it, but based on the impatient look the other boy was giving him, he was probably just meant to sit.

Taking the chair next to Toph, who seemed significantly less likely to strangle him and was also much stronger than Sokka as far as he knew, was the obvious choice for Zuko’s best interests. Plus, it let him make clear eye contact with Sokka, which was… probably important for the whole trust thing. Eye contact with Toph wasn’t important, and he had to admit this seat had a better view. Wait, no. He didn’t think that. Sokka had pretty eyes, though, and-

Zuko’s brain started to short-circuit again as he worked through his internal embarrassment, trying to ignore the odd look he was getting from those eyes currently haunting him. He cleared his throat to distract himself before speaking. “So, uh… How’s it going, you two?”

“We’re asking the questions here, princey!” Sokka exclaimed, pulling out a boomerang to threateningly point at Zuko. He would have laughed if he didn’t remember the sting of its hit so well. Zuko raised a hand in a calming gesture, trying to get the boy to settle down and _not_ ruin his life with a few stray comments.

“No so loud, dude. And don’t call me that! I go by Lee here,” Zuko hissed with newly-restored confidence. Sokka did comply, but not happily. He slammed back into his seat with a huff, crossing his arms after putting away his beloved boomerang.

Then, Toph spoke up, setting down the tea she had been practically chugging. Zuko cringed at the disrespect for proper tea sipping before briefly wondering if he was becoming his uncle. “So, Lee, how long have you been working here? It’s been _so long_ since we last saw you.”

“Um, well, the Jasmine Dragon just opened a few days ago- my uncle owns this place, actually.” Zuko couldn’t hide the pride in his voice as he told them, but he knew that wasn’t the information they wanted. “But, we chose to move here around… a month ago?” He took a moment to count, and that seemed about right. Affirming as much for the two, he watched as Toph made a vague gesture to Sokka, and the boy’s eyes seemed to light up in surprise.

He turned his attention back to Zuko, seeming slightly less aggressive now but still suspicious. “Interesting, interesting. So, tell me, _Lee_ , why did you move here? Any particular… motivation?” 

Zuko knew exactly what Sokka was hinting at, but he hadn’t even known the avatar was here until he saw the two of them! Had they been there a full month too? Maybe even longer. He leaned back and tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t get anyone killed- which was harder than you would think. “I-” he started, stopping short when he realized that would probably get him killed.

Maybe if he just… omitted that? And that. Oh, and that. That, too. This? Well, maybe it could stay, but with that? No way. 

After mentally running through everything illegal he did in the past few months leading up to this, Zuko realized he didn’t have much he could say. Even Toph was starting to get impatient, and that said something for a rockbender. “I… can’t tell you,” Zuko finally said, and Sokka looked about ready to kill him on the spot.

“And just why not, mister-”

“Not here!” Zuko exclaimed, careful to still keep his volume low. Sokka stilled at that and looked at him for a good while. Not those eyes again… Zuko turned away after a few moments of the staredown, fighting a rising blush. He breathed in, pushing down the new lump in his throat before continuing. “Look, you can… come back to our apartment after I finish working. I’ll tell you as much as you want there, I promise.”

Sokka looked to Toph, and she did that same weird hand thing again. He nodded in understanding before turning his attention to Zuko. “How much longer are you working for?”

“...Let me ask my uncle.”

-

The answer, as soon as Zuko finished explaining, was that he had just finished. Uncle sent him off with the Avatar’s friends to go back to their apartment, but not before ordering them to pick up some fruits at the market first. “And after that,” he strictly advised, “you are all going to talk.”

Zuko isn’t sure whether it was fear, respect, or boredom that convinced Sokka and Toph to go along with it, but at least they were helping him carry the groceries. Well, okay, just Sokka was, but Toph was carrying some cool rocks she probably stole. She was also eating one of the fruits they just bought, but no one tried to stop her. He was definitely not scared of a twelve year old, Zuko repeated to himself again and again until they reached the apartment.

“Hold this,” he commanded, passing on his bags of produce to Sokka as he fished out the key. After a short moment of fiddling around with it, the door clicked open and revealed their apartment. It still shone with its newness, and their belongings were still orderly put away with such care that Zuko didn’t feel any shame at their home. It was the first time in a long time he could say that, beaming with pride as they stepped into the place. Plus, it was much bigger than the last place he and Uncle were at. No doubt the Avatar’s friends were oozing envy at-

“Oh, this is quaint,” Toph commented, glancing around as if it actually made a difference for her to see it. Sokka grunted in agreement, setting down the groceries he had been forced to carry on a nearby counter. “With how well your teashop is doing and your, ya know, history, I expected something…”

“Extravaganter?” Sokka supplied. Zuko’s brief pride and happiness shattered at their attitudes. What did they know, anyway? Probably just jealous, he figured.

“Extravaganter isn’t even a word!” the ex-prince huffed out, pouting as he slammed onto their couch. “Can we just get this over with?”

Toph laughed before sitting down beside him, and Sokka repaid him with a roll of his eyes as he followed along with her. “Okay, I checked and there’s no one anywhere near here but us. Unless they’re flying, but we only know like three people and animals who can fly, and none of them are secret agents,” Toph said.

Sokka seemed to be contemplating something more serious in that moment, and Zuko leaned toward him when he seemed ready to speak. With a whisper, he replied, “None of them are secret agents… as far as we know! Never did trust Momo.” He tutted at the idea of whoever Momo was betraying them like that. Zuko sat back in confusion, wondering who the potential betrayer was and how he could fly when-

“Isn’t that your pet lemur?” he asked, finally remembering some names and faces. Sokka glared at him like the knowledge Zuko had was a personal secret that was never meant to be public, and Zuko almost felt guilty until he remembered the guy was just being a jerk.

Toph giggled before replying, “It’s Aang’s, if we’re getting specific. I trust Momo, though.” Aang… Aang? Oh, he knew Aang.

“Aang has a pet lemur? Isn’t he, like, a bison or something?” That, judging by the choking laughter he received in reply, was one of the funniest things Zuko ever said. He wasn’t gonna put much weight into that, though, since Zuko was terrible at being funny. “What’d I say?” he mumbled, looking away from the two with a blush.

Toph grabbed his shoulder to steady herself as her breathing calmed, chest only shaking ever 5 or 6 seconds now with buried laughter. “You seriously don’t know who Aang is?” What? He just said who Aang- Oh, oh wait. He _did_ know who Aang was, knew it too well.

“I just called the Avatar a bison,” he said to himself, voice subdued by the shock and embarrassment of the moment. Zuko calmly took a pillow from beside him before promptly burying his face into it. Sokka was still cackling beside him, and he considered smothering the boy before remembering that’d probably make them lose all trust in him.

Taking her hand off his shoulder and fully sitting up, Toph clapped her hands with a sudden forcefulness that quite literally shook the house. “Please don’t break my new apartment,” Zuko pleaded before being ignored. She didn’t shift the apartment anymore, but he had no doubt she would if anything even slightly prompted her to.

Sokka sat up, too, his laughter ebbing away as he wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. It wasn’t _that_ funny, come on! Zuko was back to pouting as the other two moved to be sitting in front of him, surrounding the table in the center of the room. They were all sitting around it on cushions after a moment, ready to begin the interrogation.

Toph started. “So, you say you moved to Ba Sing Se about a month ago. Your little tea shop opened a few days ago. Your uncle moved here to start a new life, so now I gotta ask: why are _you_ here?”

Zuko thought over the question once more, though he had spent pretty much all of the past month asking himself the same thing. After a few more seconds of pervasive silence in the ‘quaint’ apartment, he decided on his answer. Like his uncle said, the truth was probably his best choice here, and it’s not like they didn’t know enough for him to not be able to say the whole truth. “I came here with my uncle to get a fresh start, like pretty much every other refugee. You guys know my sister, right? Azula?”

They both nodded with such fervour he almost laughed, but he understood the sentiment. Everyone who had met Azula feared her and never forgot her- everyone who lived, at least. “Yeah, she, uh, tried to take me prisoner then kill me a while back? Like a couple weeks after the North Pole incident- you remember that, Sokka.” The boy in question nodded, a scowl back on his face and darkening his features. 

“So then, I- and my uncle!- We both decided to cut our hair, and we couldn’t go home anymore, obviously. Well, Uncle could’ve, I think… I couldn’t, though. Not, uh, not without the Avatar, at least.” Zuko was stumbling over his words and was too busy trying to piece together the whole story to really see how the two were reacting, but he didn’t miss Sokka’s harsh look at the mention of the Avatar. He was a lot cuter when he wasn’t murderous, Zuko decided, before banishing that thought harder than his father banished him. Okay, maybe not that hard, but focus, Zuko!

He scrambled to pick up the story again, interjecting with, “Not that this is really about the Avatar, but-! We’re getting there, but I didn’t even know he was here until I saw you guys _today_. Anyway! I ended up splitting off from Uncle for a bit and came to this little town, and these people were really nice to me- Oh, and I stole this ostrich-horse from another nice family who kept Uncle from dying after he drank this poisonous flower’s tea. But, the town people were nice, and I saved their son from some mean soldiers after he pulled the knife I gave him on them! Then, they learned who I was and kicked me out of the town, so that’s when Azula tried to kill all of us, then Uncle wouldn’t shoot lightning at me, then-”

“Shut. Up!” Toph exclaimed, clamping a hand over Zuko’s mouth. He contemplated licking it before remembering how many random rocks she had held today. Once it was clear he was silent and not about to lick her, she slowly removed her hand and settled back down. “Okay, look, you _suck_ at explaining things. You haven’t lied yet, though, so let me make sure I get everything.” She paused for a moment before looking up at him.

“Tell me a lie,” she ordered, her tone leaving no room for argument. 

He stuttered for a moment, surprised by the request. Zuko was _so bad_ at improvising, and he was watching Sokka stare him down, and the thought passed his mind, and before he could stop it or rethink it, he lied, “Sokka’s ugly.”

Zuko decided, in that moment, his biggest mistake had been being born. His second biggest was stopping the many, many attempts on his life since then. Clearly, those people had his best interests in mind if this was how his life was turning out. He was all too aware of how red his face was, along with Sokka’s growing embarrassment and Toph’s growing laughter.

He turned to Toph, still mortified, and humbly asked, “Could you just let someone kill me now? You could probably find someone willing pretty easily.” 

“Oh no you don’t, I can milk this for weeks. Though, there is a _slight_ problem,” Toph answered, pinching her fingers together on the last sentence. Zuko prepared himself for the worst, though he already experienced the worst possible scenario, so it’s not like it could get worse. “One, I’m blind, so I don’t know if you’re lying or not. Two, make your lie something less subjective, you idiot.”

Huh. Yeah, those were fair points. Zuko’s blush deepened as he acknowledged his lie/accidental flirting was completely for nothing. Nothing except Toph’s amusement, he noted as the girl devolved into laughter again. Sokka wasn’t saying anything, and Zuko didn’t know if that was good or bad. Probably bad. “Yeah, okay, um… I’ve… never been on a boat?” That seemed like a safe lie, and Toph wasn’t laughing at it or anything.

“You’re a really bad liar, huh? Or maybe it’s just the horror from implying Sokka was hot,” Toph commented, ignoring the way Sokka choked at her bluntness. Zuko was very, very tempted to just kick them out and take his chances with getting exposed, but he stayed calm. He wasn’t doing this for himself, it was for Uncle. That thought played through his head again and again as he waited for their conversation to finally move on.

Once it became evident Toph couldn’t open her mouth without devolving into a pile of giggles, Sokka reluctantly took charge. “Okay, uh, pretending this never happened, we have the baseline that you _suck_ at lying, we have your abridged life story, and we know your current situation. So, let’s just confirm the main points one more time.”

“Alright,” Zuko agreed. That was just yes or no, right? He could do that easy-peasy.

Clearing his throat and pointedly not looking at Zuko anymore, Sokka began. “You did not know about Aang being here and have no plans to capture him.”

“Yes.”

“You have just been working in your tea shop and not tormenting any Earth Kingdom citizens.”

“Yeah.”

“No evil plans to overthrow the king and take this city for the Fire Nation?”

“None.”

“You will not- or cannot- return to the Fire Nation right now because you got banished.”

“Pretty much,”

“You think Sokka is hot and want to go on a date with him.”

“Toph!” Sokka stopped the line of questioning to glare at his friend, and Zuko felt grateful for the distraction the boy provided. He was not only terrified of Toph, he decided, but also did not like her. Sokka, on the other hand… Zuko refused to acknowledge those thoughts.

She held up a hand to shut up Sokka, and it worked unsurprisingly well. “Let him answer, Sokka. It’s not like I’m trying to set you two up or anything.” For some reason, Zuko doubted that, but he wasn’t the human lie detector here. Said lie detector was the one currently trying to grill Zuko over a crush he didn’t realize he had until, like, ten minutes ago.

Zuko took the expectant look of Toph and the fearful look of Sokka to be his cue to answer, and, reluctantly, he gave in. “...Yes.” The young girl smirked before holding up that same hand gesture from before to Sokka. He figured out by this point that it meant the other person was being honest, and slowly sank down until he was just about hidden under the table.

“Well, that settles it!” Toph said, stretching out her arms like she was the one doing something tough just now. Zuko stopped to wonder if the whole ‘feeling the earth’s vibrations’ thing was actually draining, briefly reconsidering his views on the girl and her struggles, before remembering he didn’t like her and dropping those thoughts. She continued, “The only person Princey here is a danger to is himself. And maybe you.” Toph gestured dismissively to Sokka, not even trying to hide her smirk when she heard both boys shriek at the implication.

After the initial insult, though, Zuko realized what those words meant. The, uh, first half, at least. “So… you guys believe me? You aren’t gonna turn me in?”

“Well, the bounty’s pretty huge, from what I heard,” Sokka said, acting as if he really was considering it now. Was he joking? That was a joke, right? Zuko wasn’t _entirely_ sure, but he was pretty certain the other boy wasn’t serious. 

“No, we aren’t turning you in. However!” Toph exclaimed, and in the brief time he knew Toph, Zuko knew nothing good could come from what she was about to say. She brought up a finger and pointed it sternly at Zuko as she made her demand. “In return for us not ruining your life, you have to give us free tea!” Oh. That was it? He voiced those thoughts to the girl, and she scoffed at him.

Toph began to tut and shake her head, getting up to walk aimlessly around the room. After a few laps, she stopped and turned back to Zuko. “I’m not finished, punk! You have to give us free tea, and _your uncle_ has to make it. No offense, but you suck at brewing tea. Furthermore, one of us has to ensure you don’t get corrupted again and try to kidnap Aang or something. For this, I elect Sokka to keep watch over you.” She moved her pointing to focus on Sokka, who currently seemed to be choking. Zuko gave him a light pat on the back just in case he was, but that just seemed to make the situation worse. He muttered an apology before letting Sokka recompose himself.

“Toph! Can’t we just leave him alone?” Sokka pleaded, his voice cracking in desperation. Wow, was Zuko really that bad to be around? He was a little hurt.

She walked up to him now, and for someone with no functioning pupils, she was really good at death stares. “Have you _tasted_ his uncle’s tea? I am not going to let an opportunity to drink it for free pass me up! Plus, this’ll be good for you. Didn’t you and Suki break up?”

“Not officially!” Sokka protested, but it was weak compared to Toph’s resolve for free tea. Zuko was fairly sure anything would be weak in comparison right now. She really wanted that tea, but that part wasn’t the problem with her requests.

“If you guys know I’m good now, why would Sokka have to keep watch on me? Plus, you’re the one who wants the tea! Why can’t you do it?” Toph regarded Zuko like he was a particularly slow sloth-snail, her unseeing eyes still managing to bore into his soul. 

Once it was clear to her that he really was an imbecile, she came way too close to him and spat in his face, “I’m blind, you idiot! I can’t watch you! Plus, you should be grateful I’m taking the time to do this for you. Don’t you _want_ to be around Sokka?” Was she trying to play matchmaker or something now? Zuko really and truly hated it here, suddenly wishing he could just go out, set something on fire, and get arrested so he’d never have to be around Toph again.

After taking a deep breath to calm himself and ensure he didn’t do just that, Zuko squeaked out an answer. “No, I don’t want to be around Sokka. I don’t want anything to do with you guys.” He glared at her, waiting for her response, but his heart sank when he saw her smirk. Oh. Oh no.

“Human lie detector, buddy,” she said, patting his shoulder. “You don’t stand a chance.” He sighed in defeat, sinking fully under the table. It didn’t make a difference to Toph, but at least now Sokka couldn’t see him. And he couldn’t see Sokka. Now _that_ was an ideal reality compared to whatever this is. 

Then, something seemed to click for Sokka. Zuko watched from under the table as the boy shot up, leaving him with nothing to do but stare at the other boy’s legs. They were nice legs, he decided after a few moments of contemplation. That was when Sokka chose to shout at Toph, “What about what I want! You think I wanna be around _him_ all day?” Zuko could see the angry gestures directed to him, and while the boy had a really fair point, it still hurt just a little.

“Well, are you against the idea? Afraid something might come out of it?” Toph asked, baiting him. He didn’t answer, and Zuko waited a few more moments before his eyes went wide with realization. Toph seemed to do the same, as he heard a sharp gasp from her followed by cackling. “No way! You think he’s hot, too, don’t you?”

“N-No! He’s evil and ugly and I want nothing to do with him! Nothing!” Sokka was flailing around as he tried to defend himself, but Toph already used that trick. Zuko peered out from under the table to see Toph’s all-knowing smile. His first thought was warm and gooey like a fresh-baked peach tart, lingering on the idea that maybe Sokka didn’t hate him. His second thought was that the Avatar was not the 12-year-old he should’ve been the most worried about, seeing as how this one was clearly evil incarnate. That thought was punctuated by Sokka letting out a scream of frustration, kicking at the table and scooting it back over Zuko in the process. Well, at least he couldn’t see Toph maniacally giggling now.

Zuko slowly shifted out from under the table, standing on two shaky legs that stung from where they fell asleep. Taking a breath to keep from burning anything, he turned to address Toph. “Now that you guys know I’m not evil, could you, like, leave?” Sokka readily agreed, already heading for the door before Toph even replied. 

When Toph did agree to go and wished him a pleasant evening by whispering “Sweet dreams~” as she left in a way that made Zuko want to both crawl into a hole to die and climb a mountain to get struck by lightning, he finally found himself able to breathe. Seriously, twelve-year-olds were _terrifying_. He was glad he got banished before Azula turned twelve, actually. She almost definitely would’ve killed him by then. Sure, she was still trying now, but when you’re twelve, it’s like you unlock some exclusive super power to be the absolute worst. Zuko shuddered at the thought of that cursed age before deciding to just go to bed. It was still fairly early in the evening, but he deserved some rest. After that afternoon, he felt like he earned it.


	2. zuko has friends c:

If Zuko thought day one of not being enemies with the Avatar’s friends (or, really, just Toph) was bad, it had nothing on day two. 

He woke up well-rested for once, with a note from his uncle laid out onto the counter next to some porridge. It said Uncle let him sleep in, and to come to the shop whenever he was ready. After eating and getting dressed, Zuko headed to work, feeling oddly at peace. There was this lingering feeling in the back of his head that he was forgetting something, but he pushed it back. After all, if there was anything Zuko was good at, it was ignoring problems until they were directly shoved into his face.

As soon as he entered the Jasmine Dragon, said problems were literally shoved into his face. By Toph, because of course they were. One step inside, and Zuko’s vision was darkened by a figure suddenly toppling him over. He let out a yelp and scrambled to right himself, but instead fell to the ground with a solid thump, the figure following him.

After a moment, Zuko cracked his eyes open to see just who sent him tumbling down. He looked, closed his eyes back, and laid fully on the ground before speaking. “Hi, Sokka.”

“Hey, Zuko.”

“Toph?”

Sokka let out a deep, withering sigh, giving Zuko all the answer he needed. It was followed by the maniacal cackling of a young girl, the sound igniting a brief rage in the ex-prince. He really wanted to set something on fire right now, and Sokka was extremely close. Taking a deep breath, Zuko took to listing off every reason he had to not set the Water Tribe boy on fire. It wasn’t a very long list, but it was enough.

This teashop is Uncle’s dream, it only just opened, he’d be locked away, Azula or Father could find out, the Avatar could kill him, Toph could bully him. That last one awakened something in Zuko, and he hurriedly pushed Sokka off and stood up to avoid doing anything he’d regret. However, Zuko miscalculated in that moment, forgetting that Toph was a twelve-year-old girl for just a moment. And twelve-year-old girls don’t need fuel like murdering cute boys for their bullying. No, they would bully regardless.

“Ha!” she barked out, pointing at the two of them. The teashop was mostly empty, but everyone who was there had their full attention on Sokka, Zuko, and Toph. “What’s the matter, teaboy? Scared of a little contact?” She then started to make kissy faces at them, and Zuko was seriously contemplating murder in his Uncle’s new shop. 

Speaking of his uncle, where was the man? Shouldn’t he be stopping this bullying? Zuko glanced around, but there was no sign of the old man. “Where’s Uncle?” he asked, momentarily ignoring Toph’s jeers.

She shut up for just a moment, probably to sense for the man, before answering. “Kitchen. He’s laughing at you, by the way.” Zuko didn’t bother to thank her before storming off, but he did take the time to shoot up a specific finger he’s not sure she sensed or understood. He hoped she did both, though.

Zuko grabbed his apron from outside the kitchen before joining his uncle, the man humming one of his favorite songs as he rolled out some pastries. Uncle stopped when the boy walked in, smiling at him innocently. “Zuko, my nephew! Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Zuko yelled, leaving the kitchen just as quickly as he entered. Screw this, his uncle could work alone today. Why did Toph have to get Uncle in on this, too? She was already more than he could take, but Uncle was relentless when he got these ideas into his head. His mind flashed back to the date with that braids-girl his uncle had set up, which- Actually, it was nice, but that’s not the point. The point being that he’s not dating Sokka.

Yet.

Zuko considered punching through a wall, but he wasn’t sure how pricey it’d be to fix. They could always just hang a painting over it, though. He kept thinking about it until he ran back into the demon herself. “Hey, Sokka, watch this,” she whispered, and Zuko heard her just a second too late.

The ground literally turned out from under him, and- Did Zuko ever mention that he hated earthbenders? Because he absolutely did. As he fell to the ground, he was just grateful it was alone this time. Sprawled on the slightly-swept floor, Zuko more or less resigned himself to his fate of eternal torment, karmic revenge for his Avatar hunting or whatever. Probably for his birth, if he was being honest. 

A moment later, Zuko’s not-as-bad-as-it-could’ve-been-but-still-terrible luck ran out, and he felt someone land on top of him. “I hate earthbenders,” Sokka grumbled, and Zuko couldn’t agree more. Toph snickered at them before going back to her free tea. If Zuko could waterbend, he would absolutely dump that stupid tea out. If he was allowed to firebend, he’d make it scalding hot to burn Toph. If he could airbend, he’d blow it out of the cup and into her face. If he could earthbend, he’d bend her chair out from under her.

Zuko found himself wishing for a moment not to capture the Avatar but to be him, just to briefly torment Toph. She may have been a blind little girl, but he was thoroughly convinced she was evil incarnate and deserved no mercy. He growled up at her, cutting that short when he felt his breath start to steam. Sokka, from his position on top of Zuko, noticed this and stared with either awe or horror- maybe both- at the other boy.

“Dude,” he whispered, careful to keep anyone from hearing him. “That’s so cool. You’re like a dragon.” Zuko let out a not-steaming sigh and just stared down Sokka. “What? I can’t think that’s cool?” he asked, sitting up as he did. 

Following his lead, Zuko sat up and looked him dead-on. “No, you can’t.” Sokka let out a dejected sigh before turning away, going back to his also presumably free tea. It was at that moment that Uncle chose to walk out, trudging up to the three kids like a fat penguin. 

“Hello, everyone! How are you enjoying the tea, Miss Beifong?” Uncle asked, turning to Toph. Huh, so that was her last name?

“It’s delicious! Thank you, Uncle!” Toph exclaimed, sipping away like she wasn’t a tiny monster. Hey, wait. Uncle?

Zuko balked at her for a moment before yelling out, “He’s my uncle, don’t call him that!” Toph, for the briefest moment, looked surprised at the outburst, and Zuko would forever count that as a win. Granted, the aftermath of the win maybe wasn’t worth it.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Zuko knew he screwed up again. Momentary satisfaction dissipated to give way to dread as Toph and Uncle shared one of those I-know-all-your-secrets-and-will-use-them-against-you smiles before the young girl turned to him and spoke. “Sorry, did you want to save that title? Family only? I’m sure once you and Sokka get married, he’ll be able to say it all he wants.”

Zuko returned to his earlier mantra for not setting things on fire, calmly walked to the kitchen, and proceeded to burn 3 of the 27 pastries Uncle was baking. He left the Jasmine Dragon, knowing his uncle, Toph, and Sokka were watching him, continued until he got home, and then screamed into his pillows for a solid three minutes.

And that was just Day 2 of the teashop tormenting. If earthbenders- especially ones as good as Toph- were known for anything, it was their patience and stubbornness. For the next week, his days went almost the same. Wake up, go to work, ‘accidentally’ be put in a compromising situation with the Water Tribe boy, ignore Toph and Uncle’s comments about his supposed boyfriend, give up, storm out, barely restrain himself from setting several things on fire. Rinse and repeat, and that was pretty much how his life had been going. 

Unsurprisingly, when pitting his short temper against Toph’s strong will, he broke first. Zuko woke up, went to work, and skillfully avoided Toph’s daily Sokka trap. Today, it was going to be ‘Bump into Sokka so he spills his scalding-hot Jasmine tea onto Zuko.’ Instead, it was just Zuko cleaning up tea that had spilled onto the ground without anyone to scald. He was thoroughly convinced this wasn’t even about the matchmaking or Zuko’s dumb crush anymore, and it was instead Toph’s way of letting out her homicidal tendencies.

Once Zuko finished wiping up the spill and got Sokka some more tea, he briefly watched the boy stumble through both an apology and a thanks before finishing saying neither. After that, the ex-prince turned his attention away from the admittedly-still-not-ugly boy and to the twelve-year-old.

She was smiling at him as he walked up to her before fully gripping her shoulders. He turned her to face him, knowing it didn’t matter at all but just wanting the catharsis of doing something back. Crouching down to her, he made sure to breathe a subtle line of steam before speaking, and for a moment, something akin to guilt or regret or something vaguely human flashed over her evil face. “Problem, teapot?” Toph asked, composure fully restored and voice now dripping that smug confidence Zuko loathed.

“Uh, Toph, maybe you went too far?” Sokka mumbled, making a move to tear the two apart but stopping after seeing Zuko’s rage. He backed away slowly, keeping both hands on his teacup and carefully watching the showdown. Once he was a reasonable distance away from them (Read: the other side of the shop), Zuko let up on his grip of Toph’s shoulders and slowly backed away. He turned to Sokka from across the teashop and beckoned him over with a commanding curl of his fingers. The boy, however reluctantly, complied and slinked back over to the two ticking bombs.

“Toph, I am sick of whatever it is you are trying to do,” Zuko spat out, watching as Sokka tensed in preparation for what was about to come. Not sure if he could keep from setting her on fire, Zuko really hoped the fight would stay verbal. He continued, “You’ve been tormenting us nonstop over this stupid crush thing, and for what? You think this will suddenly get the two of us together? You think this is helping anyone?”

She stayed silent, for once without that stupid smirk on her face. Zuko pressed on. “I don’t think you’re trying to do anything but torment us, honestly! You don’t want to see us get together, you just want to see us suffer in embarrassment! Well, I’m sick of you treating us like this, Azula!” 

The entire tea shop went silent after his outburst, all that could be heard was the hiss of boiling water in the kitchen. It kept going for far longer than Uncle usually lets it. Zuko was breathing heavily, barely restraining his fury and guilt in the moment, before sinking to the ground. Toph reached out like she wanted to apologize, but he stopped her with a raised hand. “Sorry, that’s not- I didn’t mean-” Zuko stuttered out, before dropping his hands down to his side and fully falling to the floor.

Toph and Sokka looked at each other before backing away, leaving the shop without another word. He didn’t know whether that was better or worse, but he did know this was drawing way too much attention. After another minute to collect himself, Zuko stood up, apologized to any customers who saw the scene, and returned to the kitchen. Uncle seemed to be considering comforting his nephew or offering some advice, but instead turned away with a shake of his head as he went back to brewing the tea.

Zuko decided to just throw himself into his work for the day instead of lingering on his (probably huge) mistake, waiting until he served their last customer, avoided all of Uncle’s attempts to speak to him, and made his way back to their apartment to even consider the ramifications. When he did, though, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. The realization that saying Azula’s name out loud like that could’ve easily turned into a death sentence had him screaming into a pillow for a good minute. Plus, he probably just drove away one of his only chances at friends, and for what? Some harmless pranking? Azula had done way worse to him as a kid, and he took it without a problem.

Okay, maybe not without any problems. After all, who would scream about something that happened years ago on accident if it didn’t still bother them? Zuko acknowledged that this whole mess, like everything else in his life, was probably a result of his childhood traumas. Couldn’t he just, like, forget all of his life from before he was 16? Actually, throw this year in there, too. If he could just get a completely clean slate, maybe his life wouldn’t suck for an hour or two. 

Neck-deep in self pity and utter misery, Zuko hardly even noticed the first time there was a knock at his door. The second time, it was much louder and more insistent. Ugh. “Go away, Uncle! I don’t want any of your calming tea!”

“Well, good news, I don’t wanna give you any!” a decidedly not old-man voice yelled back. Toph? Great, she was probably here to officially break off their friendship. He knew it wouldn’t last given their history, but Zuko was seriously hoping to stretch it out a bit more. As terrible and 12-year-old-like as she was, Zuko couldn’t help but be fond of the rascal. From time to time, he was even sure she cared about him.

Acknowledging he couldn’t ignore her forever- mostly because she could just rip his door off its hinges as she saw fit-, Zuko crawled from his wallowing spot (under the blankets of his bed) and opened the door. He looked down at the smaller girl before she brushed past him into his room. Looking up again, Zuko noted she didn’t come alone. Great, just what he needed. “Hey, uh, Sokka. What’s up?”

“Uh, not much, not much.” Sokka cleared his throat, eyes trained on the edge of the doorframe. Zuko looked around in a desperate attempt to find a distraction. Couldn’t they just get this over with? Talking to them was already downright painful, and they were barely two sentences in. For once, he was grateful for Toph opening her mouth.

“Get your butts in here and sit down before I make you!” she shouted, genuine weight behind the threat. The two boys, after a moment’s hesitation, complied. Once they were all seated around a little table, Toph propped her feet up and leaned back. Zuko was ready to protest her feet on his things, but something stopped him. Didn’t she see with her feet?

He watched her in silence, noting Sokka doing the same. She was fully relaxed, not a note of concern for her total blindness or completely exposed frame. Zuko could think of about 20 different ways to attack her right now, very few of which would put him in danger. Considering that it was Toph, those numbers really said something. Was she just more comfortable like this? Or maybe… Zuko considered the possibility that this was her own act of trust, and he spared a single glance at Sokka who seemed to have drawn his own conclusions about the girl’s behavior.

Both boys settled in and regarded Toph with less trepidation than before, waiting for her to speak. “I’m assuming you’re both sitting down and waiting for me to do all the work, yeah?” she finally asked. Zuko nodded before catching himself, instead letting out a grunt of affirmation. She smiled in his general direction as she complied and began to speak.

“Look, I just… wanted to really apologize, Zuko. You were right; what I did was rude and uncalled for and-” She was choking to get the words out, tentative to genuinely express guilt. “Ugh, I know I screwed up, but I was just trying to get you two to get along! Like, not even together, it’s just…”

“I’m sorry, too,” Zuko admitted, abashedly looking away from the girl. “I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that when I knew you didn’t mean any harm, and-”

“No!” Toph blurted out, interrupting the apology. “No, you do not get to apologize for this! I’m the one who screwed up, okay? And, look, I completely understand if you don’t want to see us around anymore.” Oh, there it was. Toph really was breaking off the friendship. Zuko focused his attention on his breathing, unwilling to watch her call their little alliance off as she continued.

“But, I still want to be around you. Sure, I haven’t known you long, and Sokka’s mostly known you as an angry, stalking prince of destruction, but the you we’ve gotten to know here has been… really nice.” Toph finished off with a soft smile and her cheeks pink, and when her words caught up to Zuko, he found himself blushing, too. So, they still wanted to be his friend?

He looked between Sokka and Toph, both looking embarrassed but genuine. Zuko had never been great at telling when people lied, but he knew these people were worthy of his trust. So, he gave it to them. “Thank you…” he murmured. 

“So… Glad to hear we’re all buddy-buddy again! And a new zoo just opened around here, and I was wondering-” Sokka said, after a few moments of silence had passed. His face was bright red as he spoke, and it took Zuko until Toph started snickering at him to understand what he was asking.

“I’d like to go…” 

“To the zoo?” Sokka asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah! Uh, me and you?” 

“Toph?” She smiled at the two of them before shaking her head.

She leaned back while waving her hand dismissively at them. “Nah, you two go. My work here is done. Plus, I have to think of the best way to tell Katara about all this. I’ll try not to get you two killed, don’t worry.”

“...Gee, thanks. Really appreciate it, Toph.” 

-

The zoo was nice, these people were nice, Uncle was happy, and… Zuko decided he was happy, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like 4 the record, i havent read over this story or edited it at all. this is purely me having fun just writing what comes to mind. ik the ending was a lil abrupt but it just kinda flowed that way, and tbh i think its nice. if u want me to add on or like make a sequel or anything theres a chance for it, but if no1's super interested given the fact that there r like 72 other fics with similar premises, im rlly happy just ending this here hehe


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